I know, I know, we’ve been over this before, and yes, I understand the seriousness of this problem…let me explain.
I set three alarm clocks. Somehow my extension cord unplugged itself from the wall. Yes, I realize this sounds odd, but…story of my life. Now, the reason I have an extension cord plugged into the outlet that is directly next to my bed, is because I have 43 things that need to be plugged in right next to me. My alarm clock and bedside light. My phone charger, my watch charger, (yes, I do realize that I have 3 items right next to me that allow me to see what time it is) the charger for my tablet, (ok, make that four) charger for my Bluetooth headphones, my laptop, my flat iron, my curling iron, my lighted mirror.
Why do I need a curling iron next to my bed? Well, so that I can get ready as soon as I wake up…so that I’m not late.
Anyways. the extension cord became unplugged sometime last night, so all of the batteries were depleted from said devices (one of which serves as alarm #1) and the alarm clock of course can’t work if its not plugged in. (alarm #2) Which leaves me with alarm #3, which is brilliantly plugged in across the room. However, since #1 and #2 never went off this morning, this was my one and only alarm, so I was thoroughly unprepared to wake up right away. (why are you looking at me like that?)
Let me continue. When I was cognizant enough to realize what was going on, I leapt out of bed and went straight to my closet to get dressed. I opened the door and was immediately overwhelmed by my choices. I mean, I have an extraordinary amount of REALLY great clothes. (you’re still looking at me funny) Obviously I had no time to coordinate a presentable outfit, (I, of course, decided this after trying on about 6 different things and throwing them on the floor) so I grabbed my go-to sweater and my jeans from yesterday.
I had to email my son’s teacher this morning (thank God I remembered that!) because I could not seem to find the permission slip for the field trip and that needed to be brought back today. Only, my phone was dead, so I had to start up the ol’ lap top.
Now, I realize that I have ADHD and all, but how is it that every electronic device that I purchase, ALSO seems to be suffering from the same disorder? The computer never seems to remember how to connect to WiFi efficiently, and then all these various screens pop up about “suspicious activity detected” and “security subscription is expired” and what not. Its terribly distracting.
Moving on…..I opened my email server and since I never check my email on the laptop, it did not have my updated password stored, and of course I don’t remember what it is, I had to create a new one. Only, it had to verify that I was really me….by sending me a text. So then I had to plug my phone in to get enough charge to receive the verification text. Lord help me!
At that point I was panicking and ready to throw my laptop out the window because I knew that I could not be late again, but for some reason my email was in a suspended state of “SENDING” I was just going to have to just cross my fingers and hope that it went through, because the last thing that I wanted was to be late and to appear as if I do not care about this job, which, I do . I care about it very very much.
I grabbed my coat and my purse and was on my way! But when I got into the car, my heart sank when I did not hear the familiar “ding, ding, ding” of my keys in the ignition. (because this is where I leave them at all times so that I do not lose them, which would cause me to be late….but my husband can’t stand this, so if he takes my car he always brings the keys in the house….and I can strangle him right about now!) So I had to call my husband to ask him where my keys were. When he answered the phone, my blood was boiling, so I ended up just screaming a whole lot of incomprehensible nonsense abut my lost keys and getting fired and “its all your fault!” and then…..nothing.
Did he just hang up on me?!! At a time like this! I can’t believe it! Oh wait. Nope. The phone was just dead. I considered crawling back into bed and spending the day updating my resume, but instead I ransacked the kitchen for my missing car keys, until I found them. In the same spot he always puts them when he takes my car. (who does that?) So then I was on my way! (For real this time.) Except I didn’t have my purse. So I made one last dash into the house and then back out the door again.
I was down the street when I realized that I had forgotten my lunch (the one I made in advance last night, so that I wouldn’t be late) so it looks like I’ll be ordering out this afternoon. Which, of course, is the current habit I am trying to break, so that’s a little frustrating…but you know, so is being unemployed. So here I am. Late again. And I apologize. And I appreciate you being so understanding. Um, and since I’m in here, I guess now would be the best time to tell you that I don’t have my badge today….because I put it in my lunch bag. So that I wouldn’t be late.