Today’s guest post is from my amazingly wonderful, devastatingly handsome, most level-headed, even-tempered, fiscally responsible, strategically thinking, husband.
I asked him to please write about some of the positive aspects of being married to someone with ADHD. Here’s what he wrote.
There is certainly no shortage of resources geared toward offering advice to the loved ones of people with ADHD. “ADHD and marriage, how to manage.” “Can your relationship survive ADHD?” “50 ways not to leave your ADHD lover.” (I know this because I Google the topic pretty regularly. In fact, I have been considering starting a local chapter of a support group for husbands married to women with ADHD, who’s with me?
While, yes, being married to my wife can be frustrating, and unpredictable, and incredibly exhausting, I wouldn’t trade a minute of our life together for the world.
I love the fact that if she wants something bad enough, she will stop at nothing – and I mean nothing – until it is hers.
I love that I literally never know what I am walking into when I get home from work. The living room may be painted purple, or that desk that I’ve been meaning to build is suddenly fully assembled. Maybe she decided to get creative in the kitchen and we are having some sort of breaded, fried salmon for dinner – or something else that I have never heard of before. (and probably for a good reason-Sorry Babe!) Or maybe she dressed all the kids up in correlating outfits and took a professional quality photo of them…and then had that photo blown up…and then framed it and hung it in the foyer. (My work days are not even all that long) Or maybe the kids aren’t even dressed at all, but I dare not ask what she did all day!
I love that she wasn’t kidnapped by home invaders who ransacked our house that one time when I came home from work and the front door was wide open, as was the refrigerator, every light in the house was on, and clothes and toys were strewn everywhere throughout the house and she was nowhere to be found.. (She just had to run to the store)
I love that she can’t stay angry for very long because she completely forgot that she was angry in the first place.
I love that when she has an idea, she jumps right in. So much of what I love about our life, is based on decisions that she has made on a whim. Decisions that I would have never considered. Or decisions that I would still be considering, and weighing, and going back and forth on. And examining by way of spreadsheet, and then a pros and cons list…you get the idea.
I love that when we are out with friends who insist on paying the bill, but aren’t the best tippers; she will add a few bucks when no one is looking.
I love that she would do just about anything she could to help anyone who needed it, and I am amazed and inspired by her willingness to give so much of herself, despite having four kids, a crazy dog, an online school schedule and a full time job.
I love watching her fill out documents. She starts in the middle, jumps to the top, then the bottom, back to the middle. Actually, its completely random. Its mind boggling to me why she wouldn’t just start at the top and work her way down, but that is just the way she operates.
I love seeing how passionately she loves our four children. She makes them each feel so special and important. They know that they can come to her with anything and she’d understand. She has made our home a place of love and comfort, and safety for them.
I love that she has allowed me on board her “crazy train” and lets me share these adventures with her, and I honestly believe I am the luckiest man alive.