God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference…..
My Grandmother used to have a fridge magnet with the Serenity Prayer on it, so I grew up seeing these words every time I got myself a glass of milk over there. ?It wasn’t until many years later that I really understood the power of those words.
I can not stress enough, how freeing it is to understand and to genuinely accept the things you cannot change. This can be tricky for a woman with ADHD. So often, we feel like we’re barely keeping our head above water, just trying to get through the day. So often, that feeling is the result of not living up to the impossible expectations that we’ve set for ourselves. (thanks society, you misogynistic, neurotypical, ass!) I am just not built to cook, and clean, and iron, and organize…and I accept that.
There was a time in my life when I felt I needed to keep up with those impossible standards, and I really do know a lot of people who can do all of those household things with ease. I used to study them, and take notes, and try to replicate their habits and schedules….and I failed miserably, and that really took its toll on me.
I wish I knew what lead up to the revelation that it was OKAY to be me. That I simply did not fit the mold of the societal expectations of what a woman “should be”, and that is OKAY. That even if I did exert the enormous amount of effort it takes me to fulfill these expectations, I would not necessarily be fulfilled personally. But for whatever reason, one day, I just decided, “this is ridiculous, I need to stop chasing my tail, and ease up on myself.”
By no means did I give up on anything. I was not surrendering. I was not letting myself go. In fact, it was quite the opposite. Once I was able to let go of the notion that I needed to be what the world wanted me to be, I was able to figure out what I?wanted me to be. ?And ironically, people are just instinctively drawn to those who are authentic to their true selves.
I stopped making excuses when a friend dropped by unexpectedly, and my house was a mess. I stopped taking credit for the dinners my husband secretly made before guests came over for a party. I stopped pretending that I’d already been up for hours when I was woken up by a nine AM phone call. I started owning my ADHD. And it was liberating.
Think of someone you genuinely like. Someone who you would consider a really good person. Someone who makes you smile. ?What qualities does that person have that make them so great? ?Is it their organizational skills? Their high regard for punctuality?… I didn’t think so.
When you stop trying to be something you’re not, you make room to discover the person you?are,?and you start to unveil all of the unique qualities and abilities that exist within that remarkable mind you’ve been blessed with. Clearing yourself of the darkness behind the mask will illuminate the hidden power of the?real you!